A humorous lesson in karma & the futility of anger
July/August held two eclipses with one more on its way. As the moon eclipses the sun we are in shadow, a chance to look at the shadow self. Our conscious mind is eclipsed and we can experience our subconscious selves, providing us with the opportunity to go inward and evaluate the self with truth and honesty. Not to judge ourselves but in order to liberate the aspects of ‘self’ held in past experiences.
For me I was working through some past childhood disappointment and anger around what I felt ‘should’ve’ happened. I knew it was time to let it go but a deep ‘shadow’ part of me wanted my pain to be validated and for the other person I had felt disappointed by to acknowledge how they had a responsibility to do something different.
In order to release the anger, I had to surrender those needs to be validated and right.
Beautifully the eclipse bought an opportunity to revisit this and to be ready to let go in an even deeper way than I had done previously.
Here is my tale:
We have four different dietary requirements in our house, one pescatarian, one gluten free vegan, one carnivore and one paleo. So often if it’s just the paleo and the carnivore I’ll use the opportunity to do an indulgent or comforting meat dish. Hence the decision to do burgers one fateful Wednesday night. I had some pre-prepared patties which I had taken out of the freezer and placed on the bench to defrost. Easy.
Meanwhile, our very sensitive Vizsla puppy was a little out of sorts as her routine had been rocked by the return to school and work of her humans. Thus she had started being a little bit needy. The eclipse was also a few days away and animals pick up changes within our environment more than we do – in fact, its possible to predict volcanoes watching the animal’s reaction before our weather instruments. Anyway, I digress.
After feeding the pooch I used the window of time to hang the washing.
When I returned I saw the dog running outside with the burgers wrapped in baking paper. I bolted after her and with one look and stern word she dropped them knowing she had done something to displease me. I picked the burgers up only to see her jaw had already penetrated the paper and they were unsalvageable.
I had one of those moments where a conscious part of me was witnessing what I was doing and about to do with curiosity.
I picked up the burgers and felt a surge of anger, disappointment, and frustration. I promptly lost my temper and the following events happened:
I threw the burgers at the dog.
I took 2 steps and…slipped ass up in dog shit….what the?!!!
The part of me watching myself acknowledged 3 things:
The Instantaneousness of Karma.
The futility of Anger and
The hilarity of it all.
If you can see the experience for what it represents:
The dog had shown me very quickly that I could choose to hang onto my anger and keep slipping up in shit so to speak.
Or, I could choose to let it go.
Now if the lesson wasn’t clear enough….I guess I had to drill that bit home!
I shut the poor dog outside in the cold to drive my disappointment home. What was I expecting??? Having perfectly manifested a situation where I could experience disappointment and anger I also then experienced the wanting the dog to know I was feeling these things: I wanted to be validated and right…coz that’s going to work! lol Again a part of me acknowledged the hilarity of it all as I locked her outside: Mexican Standoff.
I decided at this point to do what I knew I needed to do in both scenarios, let her inside and let ‘it’ go but I was still angry.
When she came back through the dog door I went to hug her…My daughter yelled noooo!
I realized just in time she had caked herself in dog shit too! So my anger was reignited as I put her in the bath and hosed her down.
Again the witness acknowledged the second part of the lesson!
If you choose to hold onto Anger and the need to have it validated by the one you feel has wronged you in some way, not only do you slip in dog shit yourself, the other person/animal wears your shit. And it goes around & around in circles, the cycle continues.
The dynamic can be mutually charged. Meaning whilst we hold onto blaming another person, we not only give our power away but we hold onto them playing that part, keeping them stuck in the dynamic too. The issue that had been weighing on me was around a person in my life who I’d held onto emotions of disappointment, anger & grief feeling them to be responsible for a difficult childhood path I’d taken. I could choose to let it go now for myself, and for both of us. Allowing me to let go of tripping myself up in shit and allowing them not to wear it.
It also highlights the difference between pain and suffering. When our heart is open we still feel pain but when we hang onto our hurt and contract the heart we re-experience the pain and are held in suffering.
So many teachings in this one. The wisdom of animals!
This stuff is exhausting…time for a nap